Some Unsolicited Advice to Myself

 At the start of this New Year, I resolved not to give any unsolicited advice—a habit I’ve held for a long time and one I wasn’t particularly proud of. Despite my efforts, I couldn’t resist sharing this, as I feel it might resonate with you. These are lessons I’ve tried to apply in my life that have profoundly changed the way I view the world.

1. The Analogy of Raavanudu (Raavan) and Ramudu (Great Ram)

I can’t recall exactly where I picked up this analogy, but it has transformed how I perceive people and myself.

How we should view others:

We need to cultivate the patience and courage to be like Rama, who could see multiple heads in a person. Every human has multiple facets or “personalities.” If we fail to recognize this complexity, we risk generalizing or stereotyping them. By acknowledging and appreciating the different “heads” in people—their strengths, weaknesses, and nuances—we can foster deeper understanding and appreciate the harmony it brings to our existence.

How we should view ourselves:

Similarly, we must also have the patience and courage to look within and identify the multiple “heads” we possess. Each of us, like Raavanudu, has good and evil tendencies. The journey of life is about recognizing these various personalities within us, working to suppress the “evil” heads, and nurturing the “good” ones.

The purpose of life is simple yet profound: it is the journey from being like Raavanudu—full of unchecked tendencies—to becoming Ramudu, the epitome of balance and wisdom. That’s why Rama is often referred to as “Sthita Prajnudu,” or one who has achieved perfect equanimity.

2. Understanding Who We Are

This is another simple yet complex truth. To understand ourselves, we must, as Jiddu Krishnamurti suggests, strip away the labels imposed by our past, society, philosophers, psychologists, and even our families. Instead, we should seek to understand our true nature by questioning ourselves daily.

Once you truly know yourself, your actions will align with what genuinely matters to you, and life will feel more meaningful. Here’s a small example from my own experience:

I used to believe that my attire defined who I was. I obsessed over how my clothes reflected my identity. But when I asked myself what fashion and attire truly meant to me, I realized that simplicity and practicality mattered most. Today, I wear polo T-shirts because they save me time, energy, and money by eliminating the need for ironing. This realization may seem trivial, but it was a step toward living authentically.

Continuously question everything in life. If the answers resonate with you, embrace them. Or, as the saying goes by Ghalib/Badr (?):

"Dhool chehre pe thi, aaina saaf karta raha"

(The dirt was on my face, yet I kept cleaning the mirror.)

 

3. Gratitude for Life

When I experience pain, sorrow, or hardship, I remind myself of how fortunate I am compared to others facing unimaginable struggles. A book that profoundly changed my perspective is “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl. After reading it, I realized we should never dismiss our lives as “hard” without context. Frankl’s experiences during the Holocaust redefined the meaning of suffering and resilience for me. His insights taught me to focus on the things I have rather than what I lack and to draw strength from gratitude.

I highly recommend this book—it might change how you perceive problems, pain, and life itself.

These are just a few reflections that have shaped my outlook. I hope you find them as meaningful as I do